Well, wow! This has been a crazy, emotional last few days. I'll start at the beginning. Don't worry, it ends great! Well, last week during our ultrasound they found a small issue on Naomi. She has a small cyst on her brain. Apparently a very common type of cyst, but also a type that can be a marker for down syndrome or Trisomy 18, when combined with other issues. So while we were thrilled to see our baby girl (and find out she was a girl!), I was terrified leaving the appointment. Our midwife encouraged us not to worry, that these things are most likely nothing to worry about but anxiety, fear and so many emotions piled high so quickly and I could not shake it off. Adam and I decided to keep the news private until we had more information. They scheduled me for another ultrasound one week later with a specialist. It was the longest week! I could not rest but Adam and I just bathed our baby girl in prayer, specifically praying that the cyst would be gone by the next appointment. All week I just told God how fearful I was, and trusted that He was in control of our baby's life. I feared I would have to grieve over a child, and didn't know how I would handle that. The day before the ultrasound I came across a musician named Laura Hackett (listen here). Her album is all about trusting the Father in difficult times. I cried listening through the cd but it was also great for me to hear such truth. I told Father "I am afraid for my daughter", and He responded, "I am for her, not against her." So I cried some more! But trusted, what else could I do?
So, to wrap up this long saga, we went in for our ultrasound, and they checked our baby girl from head to toe. Every organ, every limb, looking for other signs of possible chromosomal abnormalities. They found nothing! She looks absolutely perfect, everything functioning as it should. The small cyst was still there and they will keep an eye on it throughout the pregnancy (it could very well go away soon like most do), which just means I get more ultrasounds to see my baby girl! I also had some blood work done for an extra confirmation that there are no issues present, but I am at peace now. I truly believe God is protecting our girl and that she is going to be a healthy beautiful little child just like Noah.
This week has taught me how to trust, even when you don't think you know how. It has reminded me of the awesome God I serve and how He holds us in His hands, protecting and loving. I'm sure He got a little laugh at my worry, I could just imagine Him smiling down on me saying "Oh Rebecca, don't you know Who I am?? The Almighty, remember??"
This week has taught me how to trust, even when you don't think you know how. It has reminded me of the awesome God I serve and how He holds us in His hands, protecting and loving. I'm sure He got a little laugh at my worry, I could just imagine Him smiling down on me saying "Oh Rebecca, don't you know Who I am?? The Almighty, remember??"
So needless to say, I am so thankful for this baby, and so joyful to know that I will be able to touch those precious hands I saw during our scan and kiss those sweet cheeks!
Here are some of my favorite words from the cd I have been listening to. SO encouraging and so truthful. During scary times, I really need to hear truth so I hope these words are a comfort and peace for you if you are going through any hardship.
There's a Gap
What do I do here in the waiting, what do I do with my unsatisfied heart,
What do I do here in the waiting, here in the tension of believing, again and again
Cause there's a lack there's a gap in my soul
between the things that I believe and I know
So Holy Spirit, You who fill, all in all come and fill me
Holy Spirit come hold me together
Living Hope
There's so much life for me it abounds, transcends what I can see
There's living hope for me
no circumstance could ever change the fact
I have a living hope
When I am Afraid
When I am afraid I will trust in you
when I'm overcome I will cling onto the Rock
That is higher, He's higher, the Rock that is higher
When my enemy's too strong for me
I don't know how to fight the fear
That comes against my heart and mind
I call upon the name of Christ
He's higher, He's higher, He's higher
When my enemy's surrounding me
he tries to steal my joy, my peace
I let go of my reasoning
and I fall onto the rock
That is higher, He is higher
"I sought the LORD and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." Psalms 34:4
